How to Deal With Infidelity in Committed Relationships

It goes without saying that no relationship is without challenges.

Couples often face hurdle after hurdle, which can strengthen their bond or break it. While some hurdles are easier to face down than others, few compare to the sheer breaking power of infidelity-to the point where most couples buckle and break under its immense weight.

One reason why many fail to walk away from affairs unscathed is because they do not even consider the possibility of it happening. Unfortunately, that complacency gets rewarded with the thing they hate the most, revealing a cold, hard fact: neither individual in the relationship knows how to deal with infidelity.

As difficult and terrifying as it can be to think about, it pays to come prepared. If you're ready to undertake this arduous journey, then read on!

Defining Infidelity in Relationships

One of the first things to tackle when learning how to deal with infidelity in a relationship is defining it. Even when it seems obvious, there are couples who operate within their own unique set of rules.

Therefore, what some consider cheating within the boundaries of their relationship may not be the case for others. Under typical circumstances, we can define infidelity under two categories: emotional infidelity and physical infidelity. By differentiating between the two, it becomes easier to learn how to deal with triggers from infidelity.

Differentiating Between an Emotional Affair and Physical Affair

Going by the textbook definition, this is an affair based on an emotional connection shared between two people, with one or both having different partners. Examples would be coworkers sharing thoughts and feelings with each other before their respective partners. The same goes for friends who prefer to confide in each other instead of the people they are dating.

Due to the non-physical nature of this kind of affair, it can come across as innocent. At the start, it truly can be. However, things can also spiral beyond their intentions, which is why an emotional affair can be surprisingly damaging and insidious.

The closeness that develops between the two individuals can slowly undermine an existing romantic relationship, and it may or may not lead to a physical affair. Regarding that type of infidelity, there's little to no explanation needed. Everyone already knows what it is, but for some it may be purely physical. For others, the addition of an emotional affair is what truly adds to the sting of such a betrayal.

The Reasons Why Infidelity Takes Place

Learning how to deal with infidelity in a relationship means often means tough conversations.

Besides defining it, dealing with infidelity would also benefit from knowing why it happens in the first place. In a perfect world, no one would ever stray. Yet, in the imperfect one we live in, a study of 495 people revealed at least eight top reasons as to why cheating happens.

Infidelity Because of Anger and Frustration

Anger, frustration, and even boiling resentment with one's spouse is mostly cited as a primary reason for cheating. The source of said anger, frustration, and resentment may differ from couple to couple, often blinding judgment on how to deal with thoughts of infidelity.

Infidelity Because of Low Self-Esteem

Those who feel underappreciated may also suffer from low self-esteem. With their spouses either unable or unwilling to provide affection, some people may decide to turn to more willing and capable individuals.

Infidelity Because of the Lack of Love

A marriage where both spouses drift apart and fall out of love is ripe with opportunity for infidelity. This just highlights the need for couples to keep exerting effort when it comes to their relationship, no matter how long they've been together.

Infidelity Because of Low Commitment

A relationship where there is an imbalance in commitment may lead to the aforementioned anger, frustration, and resentment. Unwilling to be the one holding the relationship together, one partner may decide to turn to another person for comfort, thus paving the way for infidelity.

Infidelity Because of the Need for Variety

Sometimes, the reason for cheating can be boredom. With the need for variety, some people find monogamy more challenging and may decide to cheat as a result. In this scenario, the victim may have to learn how to deal with repeated infidelity.

Infidelity Because of Neglect

Neglected spouses or partners are often vulnerable or prone to making unwise decisions. While this can involve many acts, it can definitely include finding the affection they're desperate for in other people.

Infidelity Because of Sexual Desires

Similar to the need for variety, there are those whose sexual desires just go beyond what their partner has. With this imbalance, they may find it difficult not to stray and may end up searching for gratification with others.

Infidelity Because of Circumstances

Then, there's cheating that just happens because of temporary circumstances. An encounter with an attractive stranger may overwhelm and overcome one's capacity for restraint, for example, leading to infidelity.

Coping With Infidelity

Given that infidelity is said to affect twenty to forty percent of marriages, it becomes practically a necessity to know how to cope. This can come in numerous forms, among them being learning how to deal with infidelity triggers, how to deal with anger after infidelity, and how to deal with intrusive thoughts after infidelity.

The approach to take will be unique to a couple's specific circumstances. For example, one couple's experience with infidelity may be a symptom of a greater problem between them. Therefore, in that case, it would be a cry for help. For another, cheating may be part of the unhappy party's exit strategy.

Whatever the circumstances, there are common ways to cope in a healthy manner. Here are a few tips that anyone can apply should the unthinkable happen in their relationship:

Accept Your Emotions

You will be angry. You will be disappointed. You will even be confused at times over how to feel. Whatever it is that you end up feeling on a day to day basis, it is important to take them as they come and deal with it one at a time. Don't try to avoid dealing with your emotions.

Prioritize Self-Care

With such a devastating turn of events, you will need to prioritize your own well-being. Practicing self-care may be one of the healthiest ways to deal with infidelity, especially if you can still eat healthy, exercise, have fun with friends and family, and get plenty of sleep.

Avoid Blaming Anyone

This may sound strange as a victim of infidelity, but placing too much energy on blaming your partner-or even yourself, for the matter-won't help. This will happen due to anger, but do not dwell on it. If you can avoid the blame game, you have a greater chance at moving on.

Seek Out Counseling

When things get overwhelming, there's no shame in seeking out a professional. You can do this on your own or with your partner. Doing this can help you process your emotions better, and it can help you work out any deeper issues that your relationship may have.

Infidelity is without a shadow of a doubt one of the worst things that can ever befall a couple.

It destroys trust, erodes healthy bonds, and can lead to permanent separation. As horrible as it is, it is possible to mitigate some of the damage. All you need to do is educate yourself as much as possible on how to deal with infidelity.

It may not seem like much in the face of such a terrible hurdle in your relationship, but it's better than coming completely unprepared.