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An older woman can bring a different type of spice to your relationship.
So you’ve been dating younger women ever since you could remember. However, you now find yourself romantically entangled with an older woman. Hold your horses, young man! Before you channel your inner Nick Jonas and look to run away with your Priyanka Chopra, you first need to set yourself with the right attitude, emotion, and mindset.
Because older women have more life experience, they may have relationship expectations that could overwhelm you. Falling in love with them is easy, staying in love might be a whole other matter entirely.
But, how old is old? She may be just a year or two older than you and that’s really not a big deal. Definitely not a cougar. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a cougar as a middle-aged woman with a relationship with a younger man. And science says middle age commences at 40 years old! Even so, let’s be real—there are more stereotypes when it comes to dating an older woman than an older man dating a young woman. But guess what? You don’t need social approval to date anyone.
But is there anything to look for when dating someone older than you? Are older women better lovers? Better life partners? That’s for you to find out. The sexual aspect of dating older women may not be the focal point of this article, this is more on how to have a successful relationship with them.
Based on current trends, more young men are becoming interested in dating older women. Maturity, independence, and experience—these are just three of the main reasons why men date older women. And yes, that includes experience in bed. But if you plan to date her just to get into her pants, you may be barking up the wrong tree.
Let’s say you have no experience dating older women. You’re interested, but a little apprehensive about trying. What if you have nothing in common? Will she take you seriously?
The best way to put it is that, despite your differences, you can learn a lot from her, and she can also learn a lot from you too. Granting you’re mature and responsible, there’s no doubt you can make things work.
While people are becoming more accepting of pretty much any relationship involving two consenting adults, the stigma of dating an older woman continues. So what could be the reason the public is still reluctant to accept these relationships? Understanding our social history may be the key.
Since the beginning of time, society has followed a traditional, patriarchal setup wherein men were generally in positions of power and influence. Today, women are highly independent and more and more are rising to top positions in companies and in government. When it comes to finances, many women are outearning men. Despite this, most people are wired or at least inclined toward the traditional order.
It can be difficult for men to cede power to their female partners, even more so when they feel that their roles have been completely reversed. This is particularly challenging for men who are raised to be the breadwinners and leaders of their households.
When it comes to dating older women, one thing you also need to consider is the effect of aging on their reproductive function. Experts say that the best age for women to get pregnant is between 25-35 years old. For women, having a baby after 35 can be challenging. While medical advances have given aging women options when it comes to conception, the biological clock is always a concern. But on the other hand, she may already have children. And that’s a more challenging aspect you should look into.
You need to know that it’s not just the older woman who receives criticism. You, as a younger man, are not exempt from this stigma. Some may think that you are just doing it for the money, or that you’re longing for a mother figure. At this point, it may be pointless to fulfill societal expectations, which may probably never happen anyway. The good thing is you don’t need to impress the public. You have to believe that your relationship can and will work.
A young man who knows what he wants is praiseworthy. If you’re hesitant about dating this woman because of what other people may think, you may not be ready yet for this type of relationship. Dating a girl way older than you can be pretty scary if you’re focused on other people’s expectations, especially from your friends and family. But if you’re ready to take on the challenge, there are a few things that can help you move forward with your relationship.
Are older women better lovers? Find out for yourself!
Setting boundaries and understanding expectations.
Mature women do not have the time for your innuendos. Because they tend to be more confident, they may be more assertive than the younger women you used to date. So from the start of the relationship, learn how to set boundaries. Tell her what you expect from her and the relationship. But don’t forget that you also have to listen to what she says on the matter.
Embrace your differences.
Naturally, a large age gap comes with significant differences. Still, these are not reasons to give up on the relationship.
Be excited about being with someone who thinks differently than you, or who likes different things. It’s the whole reason your relationship is interesting in the first place!
Work on the way you communicate
Because older women have been through more, you may find them a little intimidating or just different in a conversation. Many aren’t interested in making small talk. So try to talk about meaningful things like travel, food, or even your aspirations and the things you’re passionate about. No need to know an older woman’s song to please her. Focus on your independent side to show off that you’re mature enough to handle a relationship.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. If you need inspiration or validation, older woman-younger man relationships are quite common among celebrities. While some end up in a breakup or divorce, there are those who prove that this kind of relationship can work.
As of this writing, there’s Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra, who are 10 years apart. These two also come from different cultural backgrounds yet remain strong and committed.
Another celebrity couple that you can look up to is Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes. Despite their seven-year gap, they managed to stay together and have lovely children. Julianne Moore married Bart Freundlich who is 9 years younger!
Experience a different kind of relationship by dating older women, and be more confident in yourself.
The bottom line is if you love someone, you just have to take the risk. Whether you’re dating a younger or older woman, the same basic relationship rules still apply. Bring your best self to the table. Who knows, it could be the best decision you’ll ever make.
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