Why You Should Ask, “Am I Marrying the Right Person?”

Better to find out for sure that someone was right or wrong for you early on than after decades (if you even reach that long) full of hardship, right? While knowing with absolute certainty isn’t always possible, there are signs that are reliable enough to lean on. So, if you’re brave enough to ask the question, “How do I know I am marrying the right person,” then read on.

The Benefits of Being With the Right Person

Before proceeding directly to the topic of how to know if you are marrying the right person, it pays to first acknowledge what you’re getting out of it. Whether people realize it or not, there are more benefits to a good marriage than just lasting happiness and romance. Here are some of those other, less-cited benefits:

Improved Health

The fact of the matter is that a good marriage can lead to lower stress levels. That means lower cortisol for those who are happy with their choice of a spouse. According to ScienceDirect, there is a significant correlation between stress and inflammation. With fewer instances of stress, the body is better equipped to regulate inflammation—which is heavily associated with health problems, specifically those of the heart, diabetes, and even cancer.

Financial Stability

Financial stability not only contributes to a good marriage, but the same also works vice-versa: with the right spouse, the odds of gaining greater financial stability increases. First of all, there’s greater decision-making power, which can only lead to good things for a financially-savvy couple. There’s also spousal pension benefits for later life and greater home buying power, just to name a few.

Greater Intimacy

Intimacy is essential for any couple’s quality of life. Those interested in learning how to know if you married the right person will be able to tell this by how emotionally close they are with their spouse. Greater and more stable intimacy can lead to the avoidance of depression, increased emotional support, and a safe space to discuss issues.

Trustworthy Signs You’re About to Marry the Right Person

Now, it’s come to this: the signs that you’ve been waiting for. In truth, the signs of the right spouse for you are similar to the signs of any compatible partner. But rather than taking a blind leap of faith and asking yourself the question, “Did I marry the right person?” years down the line, it pays to double check as early as now.

Your Values and Goals Align for the Most Part

Having someone whose values and goals align with yours is among the most telling signs that you’re with the right person. While this won’t be the case a hundred percent of the time, being aligned for the most part is often good enough.

You’re Sure of Their Trustworthiness

If you have to ask the question “How do you know if you married the right person?” then one surefire way to find out is by also asking yourself, “how sure are you that your spouse is trustworthy?” Trust is the bedrock of any stable relationship. After all, without it, there can be no love.

You Both Have Empathy for One Another

If trust is the bedrock of any stable relationship, then empathy is what keeps it going. This is what fuels a lasting love. For those couples who are unable to empathize with one another, then the future looks grim. For those who can—and without difficulty—then, there’s little doubt that this is a reliable sign of choosing the right person.

The Pitfalls of an Incompatible Marriage

With the benefits and the reliable signs out of the way, let us tackle the worst at the tail end of this article: what happens if you don’t choose correctly. In fact, a study found that an incompatible marriage results in a higher tendency to divorce. To fully grasp what it means to be in a compatible marriage, it pays to know what incompatibility also looks like. So, with that said, here are the pitfalls of making the wrong choice:

Increased Contempt and Resentment

Contempt and resentment are known as silent relationship killers. This is because they aren’t as overt as abuse or infidelity, but they pile up over the years until they reach their tipping point. With the wrong person, it's easy to collect both feelings over the years, which won’t do anyone any good.

More Frequent Fights and Disagreements

With greater contempt and resentment, the odds of getting along or solving problems in healthy manners drastically lower. Unhappy couples will disagree and fight more frequently. There will be fewer instances of resolution and the gap between the couple will only widen in time.

Greater Likelihood of Loneliness

And, with the widening of that gap comes an unshakable loneliness. For many, to feel lonely while being with someone is even worse than feeling lonely by themselves. Being at this stage can lead to considerable mental and emotional problems, which many try to combat through questionable choices. Vices will then pop up, which may even include seeking out the company of those who are not their spouses.

As great as it can be, there’s no denying that marriage is a daunting institution.

For as long as people are willing to commit themselves to another, the relevant questions of “Am I married to the right person?” or “How do I know if I married the right person?” will continue to pop up. But, as this article proves, there are indeed reliable signs for people to lean on, so even in the darkness of doubt, there is light shining in the end.

With so much at stake, it really does pay for anyone to ask themselves, “am I marrying the right person?”