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Hey, Google. What’s a simp?
If you’re online a lot, you may have encountered that term, scratching your head as you see it. What does it even mean? Is it good or bad? Where on earth does that word come from?
“Simp” is an undeniable part of modern slang. And we could all use some lessons on contemporary terminology. Let’s explore what this means and how it applies to daters.
If you’re a youngster, the definition needs no explanation. But for everybody’s benefit, let’s describe what a simp is.
The term has no official dictionary entry, so let’s stick with the Urban Dictionary definition. To put it simply (no pun intended), a “simp” is a person who exerts excessive effort for the person of their affection.
Do you remember Craigslist single women personals? Allow us to take inspiration from that dead site and paint a picture for better understanding.
Say a man comes across a Filipina Craigslist ad and is instantly smitten. After making contact, he does everything he can to gain her attention, even if his actions aren’t working. He’s what we call a simp.
“Simp” may be a modern dating term, but the concept isn’t a novelty. The New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English traced “simp” (a shortened variation of “simpleton”) back to 1903.
Also, a 1923 New York Times piece quoted a letter from a woman slamming unmarried men. She said this:
Those bachelor simps are afraid to take a chance and too tight to share their earnings with a wife.
Ouch! That has to sting.
When the 1980s rolled around, rappers like Too Short and E-40 used the term in their music to paint men who were overly eager in their romantic pursuits.
Now that we’re in the age of the internet, we have simp forums and other related content. There, you’ll notice that people use the term to insult excessively submissive men.
What’s a simp?—Now that we’ve answered this, let’s discuss how they behave. What do they do when they’re in their feelings?
Before getting into specific traits, we’ll say this: simps overly accommodate their romantic interest, even at their own expense. And more often than not, there’s nothing in return for that.
Think of it like being a doormat. Simps allow someone to walk all over them without any consequences. But instead of being a mere entrance, they hold out sweet messages and gifts.
Without further ado, here are the signs of simping:
Politeness is a bare minimum. No one likes a person with no manners. But while gentlemanly or ladylike behavior is one thing, hat-tipping behavior at every second is another.
The thing about the latter is that it’s often a means to an end. It’s not genuine kindness.
Don’t get us wrong: gifts are great! Who doesn’t like giving and receiving them? They’re physical representations of love and care.
However, excessive gift showering is a cause for concern. Getting or giving a small and thoughtful present is one thing, but it’s a red flag when it happens every single day.
Simps sometimes display possessive behavior, and unfortunately, this often goes unnoticed. Even if they aren’t in a relationship with their desired person, they demand their time and attention. Creepy, yes? It’s not something that you should leave off the hook.
Being selfless is different from disregarding your well-being. Simp behavior often falls under the latter because of the desperation to impress. Simps don’t care about their dignity because they’re too caught up in their feelings.
Everyone has flaws, even those with pretty and handsome faces. Simps usually put their desired people on a pedestal despite their unrequited feelings. This is different from having (reasonable) expectations because it’s as if they’re deifying them.
There’s a difference between being a gentleman or lady and being a simp. The latter disregards boundaries and views love and relationships through transactional lenses.
People usually associate being a simp with men since they’re more likely to do it. But the thing is, this behavior isn’t exclusive to males. Women stare at and fawn over good-looking men, too; they aren’t an exemption.
An example is when she’s crushing hard on a guy who may not feel the same way. How she acts out on her feelings is so obvious that some onlookers may find it pathetic.
Simp memes and jokes can be funny. Although most people use the term without malice, here’s a little dark truth: simp behavior can be problematic.
Some tend to view sensitive and gentle-mannered daters in a poor light and mistake them for simps. And with that, they degrade people who only follow traditional gender expectations. Even a polite gesture like pulling out a chair for a woman to sit on can generate some unwarranted ridicule.
People are complex beings. Reducing them to simps because of their demeanors is reductive.
Simps tend to put themselves on the back burner; they neglect their needs to please another. And the twist here is that their feelings are often unreciprocated.
The longer they exhibit simp behavior, the more their self-esteem will drain. They hope for the odds to turn in their favor, but it’s useless when the signs aren’t there. They set themselves up for disappointment and crash hard when the truth finally hits them.
Going off from the previous reason, a simp revolves their life around someone who doesn’t return their affections. And when reality sinks in, it’s as if a part of them has left with the people they’re trying to move on from.
Now that we’ve answered the “what’s a simp” question, use your takeaways and learn to express and manage your feelings healthily. Don’t throw your life away just to let someone else be the one you orbit around.
Similarly, don’t date a simp. You might enjoy their behavior initially, but over time, you’ll get overwhelmed by their infatuation.
Our matchmakers at Cebu Women can help you in finding this balance. Register for free to start finding matches and making genuine and healthy connections.
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